Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
