ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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