gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize