its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
