found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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