4 words: hood of his car
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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