How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
