I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
