when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
