I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
