please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
