you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i drank out of a bidet.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
