when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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