I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
