I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
