Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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