Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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