elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
