I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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