You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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