i just had sex bonerless
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
