Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
