I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
