He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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