I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize