No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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