i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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