Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize