Christians are straight up FREAKS
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
