Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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