arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
