Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
