So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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