all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This baby is an asshole
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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