I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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