Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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