Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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