I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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