The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
