Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
