I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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