i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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