Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
