Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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