Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
