So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
