More tranny stories later!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
