I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
