Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
