All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize