Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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