i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
