I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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