I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
