he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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