Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
