Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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