...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
