WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
porn star boner night. come get it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
